Jeff Foxworthy’s “You Might Be A Rapist” by Jeff Foxxxxworthy

TO BE READ IN THE STYLE OF JEFF FOXWORTHY’S “YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK” STUPID JOKES

DISCLAIMER: USE OF THE WORD ‘RAPE/RAPIST” IN THIS ARTICLE IS MEANT TO ENCOMPASS ALL FORMS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT, WHETHER PENETRATION OCCURRED OR NOT

If, while in a clear state of mind (i.e. you are able to walk balanced, construct logical sentences, can make choices independent of substances), you choose to have sex with someone in an unclear state of mind (i.e. is not able to walk balanced, cannot construct logical sentences, has become sick from substances, cannot make clear choices)………youuuuuuuuuu might be a rapist!

If, while in a clear state of mind, you have witnessed a friend or even a stranger take someone in an unclear state of mind alone into a room, dancing too close, fondling too heavily, and you did not advise them that said person may not at that time be able to make choices about their sex life………youuuuuuu might be a rape apologist!

If you think it is okay to have sex with a significant other while they are in an unclear state of mind, because they would presumably choose to have sex with you while they are in a clear state of mind…………….youuuuuuuu might be a rapist!

If you request a significant other or a romantic interest to have sex with you in order to show their affection, or persuade them that sex is the greatest way to show yours if they otherwise are unsure about engaging in a sexual relationship with you………youuuuuuu might be a perpetrator of sexual and mental abuse!

If you have ever uttered something along the lines of “she/he was asking for it from everyone at the party, I was just the one to give it to her/him”……..youuuuuuuuuu might be a rapist!

If you live with the mindset that the only way to have sex in college is by getting intoxicated at parties and finding someone else in an equal or more than intoxicated state…….youuuuuu might be perpetuating rape culture!

If you identify with internet articles such as Brobible.com’s “How to tell if a girl wants to fuck, just by what she’s wearing” or most of the sex advice on TotalFratMove.com……………..youuuuuuuu might be perpetuating rape culture!
If you find yourself deeply offended by any of the statements above…….youuuuuu might be a rapist/rape apologist/perpetuator of rape culture!

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Filed under August 2014 issue, Uncategorized

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